Protected: Dear Ben,
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suicide
It Doesn’t FEEL Okay to Have Feelings
Trigger warning: Yeah, I’m fucked up. I talk about wanting to die, and wanting to kill myself, and how terrible my life feels sometimes. You can go read something else if you don’t want to think those thoughts. I’m not the happy-go-lucky bachelor I was at the beginning of this blog. I should probably just …
Acceptance?
After writing yesterday, I still couldn’t get the question out of my head. Should I be trying even if she doesn’t want me to? Should I do all those little things I think about doing constantly? Texting her when I’m thinking about her (which is constantly, so that would probably not be great)? At least …
Wake Up Call
Last night, somewhere in that twilight on the edge of sleep but not quite sleep, I was suddenly awoken. It wasn’t by that semi-dream where you’re suddenly falling, though, which is usually what wakes me up from that state. I thought I heard her say my name. I was instantly awake, and my brain did …
Emotional Support
I spent most of today thinking about my problems, and how I might’ve come to be this way. I’ve thought of it a few times this past week, and kicked some ideas around, and one thing I keep coming back to is that I grew up without an emotional support network. Again, I love my …