Protected: Dear Ben,
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Renaissance
Blame
When something goes wrong, it seems like everyone wants someone or something to blame. Maybe it’s in our nature to shift responsibility, to clear our conscience. I’ve been stewing on this for days now, and it would be so damned easy to blame Depression for my actions, blame my father for being a role model …
Separation
Before I dust off this blog, and start a new chapter in my life’s story, I want to make it very clear to the readers that I’m not the hero in this tale. I’m not the good guy in this story. Consider yourselves warned. Here there be monsters. A few hours ago, I got the …
The Cave of Depression
And when you’re sick you seem to think you’ve failed eternally And that the people you let in are only crumbling When you’re sick of faking life in this recovery When my decisions paved the road that lies in front of me So to my friends that even call but I don’t call back I …
The First Day, All Over Again
I’ve had a few cigarettes over the past week and a half. I’ve also been eating worse lately, and slacking in my exercise routine. This has been reflected on my weekly weigh-in, where I’ve only lost one pound in the past four weeks. (At least I haven’t gained any.) I could cop out and say …
Not-So-Humdrum
I just weighed in downstairs. My rate of loss has slowed down because I’ve been snacking more and eating like crap and avoiding the treadmill more often, but I’m still losing. Today’s weight is 299. This is the first time since 1995 that I’m under 300 pounds. THAT makes my mood improve quite a bit. …
14 Smoke-Free Days
It’s been two weeks since my last cigarette. The cravings today and yesterday have been the worst ones since the first day, but I keep reminding myself that I’ve gone a week without coughing up a lung in the morning, and that keeps me from buying a pack, if not quell the craving. I also …
Nothing says, “I love you” like giving each other pinkeye
I think Strutter gave me pinkeye. Or maybe I stole it from her in a reckless nuzzle, despite the suspicion that she was getting pinkeye. Either way, I get a day off from work, and it’s a great day to stay in bed. It’s nasty and rainy and thundery. So, forgive me for the short …
Nothing says, “I love you” like giving each other pinkeye Read More »
One Week Vacation from Vice
Today is my seventh day without a cigarette. I have gotten past the pent-up rage and general grumpiness. I can look at a pack of cigarettes on the bar or table and not feel the urge to smoke one. My morning ritual of coughing until I feel like I’m about to die has continued, but …
Renaissance Update
I haven’t written about it in awhile, so I thought I’d post a little update. The pounds didn’t shed quite as fast over the holidays, but they did shed. I weighed in this morning at 315 pounds. That means I’ve lost 41 pounds in three months, and I’ve got 65 more to lose before Christmas. …