I spent a few hours this afternoon at my parents so that she could grab a few more things from the house without having to see me. It’s a rough experience, because I want so badly to run home and catch her while she’s here. To plead with her. To try and show her that …
If I had to choose between lying awake in bed being miserable, and facing my dreams, I think I’d go full on insomniac. I’ve always had bad dreams. Usually the theme revolves around someone I care about in peril, and me being unable to help them. A common one is finding a loved one in …
Part of me REALLY wants to delete that last post. Part of me wants to call in to work and go back to bed. Part of me wants to feel as shitty as I do, because I deserve it. I might have slept for a total of two hours last night, but it feels like …
It’s 2-fucking-AM and I can not sleep. Traumatic amputation is an injury to an extremity that results in the immediate loss of that extremity or limb, or that requires immediate surgery to remove the extremity/limb because it’s too far gone to save. A part of me has been mangled, separated from me, and there does …
Today was a bad day. I wasn’t even going to write about it, since it feels like every post is depressing, but I wanted to put these feelings down before I sleep, maybe to leave them here and not carry them to bed. It’s hard to feel hope. It’s hard to believe that there’s a …
I miss the little daily routines. Watching her get ready in the mornings, when she basically dries her hair upside down while looking at her phone on the floor. The sound of the blender as she makes her smoothie. Wishing each other a good day as the first one leaves the house. Laying next to …
I spent three hours at my parents’ house today. Watching them interact, really watching them, opened my eyes to a truth about myself and my relationships. If I don’t change myself, it’s very likely that I will end up in a relationship like theirs. I love my parents, but I honestly don’t know if they’re …
Day 8 – The Distance at Which Apples Fall From Trees Read More »
Grocery shopping is something I’ve always hated, but today was odd. There’s been this “distant” feeling lately when I’ve felt myself approaching the edge, this feeling almost like I’m leaving my body to handle whatever is about to happen and just watching it, as if it’s happening to someone else. The entire grocery trip was …
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,courage to change the things I can,and wisdom to know the difference – The Serenity Prayer The Serenity Prayer has always struck a chord within me. It sums up, succinctly, one of my core foundations. No, I haven’t found religion. (Though my mother has, …
I am the son, and the heirof a shyness that is criminally vulgar.I am the son and heirof nothing in particular. I threw up in the parking lot at work yesterday as I was getting ready to leave, and then I sat in my car and cried for about ten minutes. She had let me …