Where Do I Go From Here?

It’s been nine months of silence. After figuring our my old account name and password to the stat counter (which was registered under an email address I haven’t even owned in four years), I spent about five minutes browsing over the inbound traffic looking for clues as to who comes here. In the past four months, not including bots and random google searches, I’ve had five actual visitors. That’s rather impressive for a blog that’s been dead for, let’s be honest, over two years. And even that’s glossing over the near-death that preceded it.
I haven’t written anything, publicly or privately, of “value” in over a year. And while I still enjoy writing (or at least the IDEA of writing), I don’t have anything to say. It can’t be a dating blog anymore, because I’m not really dating. I don’t think it’d be fair to make it a health blog, even though I’m taking my health more seriously now. It can’t be a mommyblog because… well… you get the idea.
I went through and looked at the activity on the blogs I still follow. It seems like all of us sort of stopped writing. So what do I do? Do I take it all down and throw it away, like some spiral-bound notebook of rubbish teenage angst poetry? The idea of doing that distresses me… like being asked to cut off a hand and toss it aside. Do I leave it up as an archive that maybe gets updated once a year? Then I can trick people into reading The Nice Ass and invariably being disappointed that the story just stops. (Sort of like My Boot, and Awkward Things I Say to Girls)
Or do I force myself to write? I’ve heard established writers give this as advice before. “Force yourself to write 500 words a day.” Who am I to argue with people who are successful? But, also, what sort of crap is going to come of it? Random stream-of-consciousness ramblings? Would anyone want to read that crap?
And there’s my answer, right in the middle of a ramble. I don’t write for you. I write for me. Yes, it’s true that I’d like to entertain you. Yes, I do look at my visitor stats to see who is reading (when I’m writing). But the results don’t matter. I want to write.

4 thoughts on “Where Do I Go From Here?”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *