Selfishness

At some point in history, women thought it would be a good idea to make it socially acceptable to eat food which their significant other had gotten for themselves.  I suspect it started out by not ordering a large meal at a restaurant (in order to avoid looking like a pig on a date) and then stealing food from their date’s plate because they were starving.  Movies portray this behavior as cute but, believe me, it’s not.
Don’t get me wrong, though.  I’m willing to share my food, but only if I know in advance that I’ll be asked to share.  At that point, I’d just order extra food to compensate for the thievery.
Why do I bring this up?  Because I’m hungry all the time now.  I’ve been on a diet for four weeks, and my stomach has not become acclimated to being empty all the time yet.  And because Strutter keeps stealing what little food I’ve bought from the fridge, like a mouse in the night.
Again, don’t think that I’m unwilling to share, or provide for my woman.  Every time I leave for the store, which has been almost every day these past few weeks, I ask, “Do you want me to get you anything?”  When the answer isn’t something wholly un-diet, such as ice cream, cheesecake, or pizza, it’s a definite “No, thank you.”  So I buy for myself, and find her pilfering cheese crumbles from the fridge or croutons from the cabinet later that night.
To add to the mouse analogy, Strutter is completely incapable of opening a cardboard box along the designated “Open Here” perforations.  She always rips a small hole in the side from which to extract her ill-gotten food and drink.  (And I must admit, THIS behavior is cute.)
My point is this:  Just tell me to get you something.

2 thoughts on “Selfishness”

  1. I cant help it! I’ll buy you more, geez! I’m on diet too, we both have money at stake and I know I can lose my extra crouton weight before weigh in so really I’m eating your food to help you not eat it? Yes, that’s it, I’m doing you a favor! Drink more water, man! It tricks the body into thinking it’s full. A 300 cal salad is a 1000 cal salad with dreadful cheese and croutons, may they be damned! Also it’s not just me, Taj and Chewy bully me into getting them out of the cabinet…

  2. LOL, that’s just what we girls do. My husband just orders two of everything; even if I say I don’t want it, he knows I’ll eat half of what’s there. So if he orders two, he’ll still get what he wants. I guess he’s learned to pick his battles!

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