Actuality… Really. Not!

First, let me say that I’m alive, and I feel sort of bad for vanishing off the face of the blagosphere. Finding love and a relationship tends to make me write less, because the things that Strutter and I share are OUR things, and writing about them might somehow sully them a bit. I’m happy. We’re happy. 🙂
Anyhow… on to the meat of my post. Strutter has become addicted to a television show on the TruTV network. It’s called Haunting Evidence. If you’re aware of the show, bear with me while I explain the premise to those who are not.
A team of paranormal folk come in to an unsolved crime and, using their spooky powers and high-tech gadgets, gather evidence to help further the investigation. The team consists of three people:
John J. Oliver – Medium and, according to the link I’ve provided, actor. His job consists of making maps based on dreams he has and following those maps to a site relevant to the crime. He also hypno-regresses himself to the night of the crime and has the spirit of the victim give some extra insight.
Carla Baron, Psychic Profiler – I’m not really sure what the technical difference is between a Medium and Psychic Profiler, but the biggest difference I can watch and gather is that John tries to give more facts and details, where Carla talks about the emotion and psychology of the attack… much like Deanna Troi ranted and raved in the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation. (If you’re a Star Trek fan, you’re laughing at that. I promise.)
Patrick Burns, Paranormal Investigator – No show is complete without a gadget-geek, and Patrick fills this role perfectly. He’s always on the scene with his EVP detectors (commonly known as microphones) and temperature-change-monitors (also called thermometers). While it sounds like I’m mocking Patrick, I’m not. Out of the three of them, he’s the one who I think actually BELIEVES in what he’s doing. He just got stuck with two gypsies.
In every episode, Patrick drives John and Carla out near the crime scene, and tells them nothing of the case they’re about to work aside from the name of the victim. For ten minutes or so, John and Carla wander around talking about how they feel something peculiar… and eventually the peculiar feeling grows as they come up to a place of significance, usually the crime scene or the house of the victim. The narrator always reminds the viewer at this point that John and Carla have no prior knowledge of the case, and have amazingly led the camera crew straight to the place of interest.
Then the show becomes a seance, while John communicates with the victim’s spirit and Carla has an emotional seizure. (In fairness, Carla does give details that many times correspond to John’s revelations. I exaggerate for the sake of humor.) Patrick sits in his command center, monitoring the almost-never-changing temperature and listening for very-seldom-recorded EVPs… When something does happen, though, he’s the most animated person on the show. He leaps into action with his electromagnetic field detector thingy and his portable laser temperature-taker. It’s awesome.
At the end of the episode, Patrick compiles a list of evidence to hand of the authorities, hopefully to give them a new direction to look in. After two marathons of this show, I’ve only seen one where they actually caught the guy, and even then it was because he’d been arrested for a different crime and his DNA matched. That’s my biggest disappointment with the show. They never catch the bad guy. There’s no closure. My second biggest disappointment is that the ghosts don’t get pissed off and start smashing shit. My third biggest complaint is the motto of TruTV is “Not Reality. Actuality.” This show has no actual scientific merit. It’s fringe science, and still widely debunked.
On a positive note, though, I like the idea of the show. I’m a fan of True Crime stories and a fan of ghost stories, so it’s a perfect blend. I just wish it offered more closure. Even if only half the episodes resulted in an arrest, it’d be worth watching for me.
So if you need a laugh on Saturday night, tune in and watch Patrick Burns and his gypsies. And I say in all honesty, Patrick, I hope you find something. You’re the star of that show to me.

1 thought on “Actuality… Really. Not!”

  1. I watched the episode about the Zodiac serial killer. It kind of hinted that they found him,but couldn’t use his name for a reason I’ve forgotten now. It did kind of amuse me … I like my true crime shows to be kind of campy and low-budget-looking. And with night vision goggles. 🙂

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