The New Relationship

I’ve commented before on my new relationship theory, and how it is much like licking the red off of a peppermint candy. Every new thing you learn about the other person is one more lick until you’re left with a porous hunk of white sugar. Basically, it still tastes the same, but it’s not quite as exciting as it used to be.
Now that I’m in a new relationship, I find my analogy to be a little bit scary, because I don’t want the “licking” to stop. (Try not to be dirty-minded when you read that.) She’s even warned me on a few occasions that the newness will wear off one day. I’m having too much fun with her to believe that it’s possible not to be as excited to see her.
We’re a disgustingly cute couple. Any day that we don’t spend together, we’re texting or calling just to say we miss each other. I think about her all the time when she’s not by my side (and even when she is). I am always looking forward to the next time I get to see her, and hold her, and smell her hair. (Okay, the smelling might be a little stalker-creepy, but I like her smell. Deal with it.)
Maybe the newness will have to wear off eventually. But what if it doesn’t? What if I never stop looking forward to being with her? Wouldn’t that mean that she’s the One?

13 thoughts on “The New Relationship”

  1. First off, she probably likes that you smell her hair. i recently permanently changed conditioners because CN likes how the new one smells. i like that he sniffs the top of my head when we watch tv. 🙂 it’s not stalker-y.
    I have asked my mom this same question. She told me that her dad described it to her in this way:
    it’s like a fire. at first, it’s ablaze, and wild and exciting and hot. but you can’t keep that up forever, because you will burn out all of your fuel. it’s healthier if you eventually let it simmer down to warm embers. always burning, but rarely ablaze anymore. the spark never leaves. the big flames just die down.
    so that’s how i look at it. i’m looking for the embers. anyone can build a fire. it’s keeping it going that is the hard part.
    as long as the two of you share your lives and want the same things out of life, you’ll never lose interest in each other. but yes, one day, you might stop texting each other non-stop, and you probably won’t rip each others clothes off anymore.
    but that’s ok. there will be other sources of satisfaction.

  2. Just hang a car freshener around her neck, so she’ll always have that new car (relationship) smell.
    Or, something.
    Stuck, just relax … stop thinking about it so much (although it’s okay if you keep thinking about her)

  3. You probably are overthinking it a bit, but you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t. Still, take a breath & enjoy the ride. 🙂
    Speaking from the REALLY long relationship perspective, that spark does not have to go away. The newness takes different aspects over a relationship. It will change, and the change can be good. Think of it as different parts of the fire smoldering over an evening, if you will. Different parts flame up at different times. After all the years, I’m happy to say that I still get happy when I see him each day. There’s a good chance that she is The One if the feeling stays. And yes, some of us do still rip each other’s clothes off (not that you wanted that image, Stuck! :))
    Have I told you lately that seeing (or reading, I guess) you happy is a wonderful thing?

  4. Geez, enough with the smoldering fire analogy. Just based on experience, I don’t think you can ever keep up that new intensity for the long term. I think it’s better to intentionally pull yourself back a little just so you can evaluate things with a clear head. It’s really easy to get wrapped up in that initial honeymoon rush. Worst case scenario is you overwhelm the other person or cause them to pull back because you’re coming on too strong.
    I like the new-car smell comment. lol. I love smelling a girl’s hair. My favorite is Aveda shampoo.

  5. I’m a little weirded out by the smoldering fire talk myself. It makes me wonder if we should be having sex. Cuz, you know, we want to wait until we’re married, like good, proper Christians…
    What? Why are you laughing? Heathens.
    All joking aside, I think we just had a “smoldering” weekend. The physical side wasn’t important at all, and my favorite part was lying on the couch together, with her curled up on my lap and hugging my leg, watching “Some Assembly Required.”

  6. wow. so you told strutter about your blog, huh? would you care to discuss this topic with me?? has it been a good thing? or do you feel vulnerable? i go back and forth about granting CN permission.

  7. She knew about it before we started dating, actually. I don’t really feel vulnerable because I’m firm believer in open communication. There’s nothing I won’t share with her, and there’s very few things I wouldn’t share with the world.
    As for CN, he seems like a reasonable guy, who understands that girls are whacked in the head. If he can tolerate a woman pulling a knife on him, I’m pretty sure he can tolerate his girlfriend writing about him on her blog. (And you don’t say anything bad about him anyway, so I don’t see the problem.)

  8. ~VB
    Yeah seriously, your blog is one big “CN Is Awesome” fest, but of course if you did want to just post a rant about CN or something, you couldn’t really do that. I agree w/Stuck about open communication, but it’s nice to have a somewhat anonymous forum to get comments from people about situations without being influenced by what your bf/gf thinks. For example, say you wanted to post about why men do stupid stuff, and put up a “stupid CN” example, and get comments/feedback about why men do stupid stuff. He might be offended, even if that’s not your intent.
    I think he already knows about your blog anyway, so if you don’t share it, it might look like you’re trying to hide something. There’s also the question of broadcasting the private life of someone who might not want to do that. For instance, I might be perfectly comfortable talking about the fantastic bj I had the night before, but the bj-giver might not want the whole internet knowing what’s been giving her the scratchy throat recently.

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