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Discoveries on the Diet

I have discovered something interesting about controlling my portions and limiting my calories…

Drinking two screwdrivers will COMPLETELY fuck me up!

I like to drink alcohol when I grill, and my new diet has me grilling a lot. Grilling is a subject of some comedy for me, because my grill, and the grill before this one, were both found on the side of the road by my father and given to me. I spent a good portion of today replacing every single part of the inside of my grill, after two trips to Lowe’s. Finally, once the grill was in working order, I grilled pork chops. I mixed up my own barbecue sauce from a couple of other sauces, and threw in some seasoning. And I mixed a screwdriver to drink while I grilled. (Raw pork does not evoke the same revulsion in me as raw poultry, so there’s nothing funny or interesting to report on that front.)

Anyway… I’m pretty drunk. Which means I have no attention span to keep writing and I need to spell-check this before posting.

3 thoughts on “Discoveries on the Diet”

  1. dang. this post had all the ingredients for a funny dish:

    1. drunkenness
    2. raw meat
    3. fire
    4. Stuck

    WTF? this post is a rip off!

    (like my stupid little pun? it was bad, i know)

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