Do You Have Another Opinion?

Name that song, and win a free subscription* to my blog.
So I had my date with the chick who kept bumping into me under the guise of swaying to the music, and on a scale of one to ten, I give her a negative number in the double digits. Stuckey, how can you be so harsh on a girl you just met? Well, children, sit back and let me explain…
By no means am I a master of the Art of Conversation. I’m probably not even an apprentice. I’m just not a talker. I’ll throw in a joke or two. I’ll correct a glaring mistake that someone spewed forth if, unchecked, it might have adverse affects on society. I might even ad my opinion on the topic at hand if I feel like it’s worth saying aloud. For the most part though, I’m a listener.
So, picture me at a local concert, on a date with another person who is not conversation-friendly. Yes, it’s painful, isn’t it? Staring at the two of us standing next to each other not talking… yikes. So I did what I had to do. I raised Nice Ass from the dead (because I really haven’t donned that mask in many months) and took the initiative. I would make a safe statement about myself, something that couldn’t be considered boasting, and then allow a proper alottment of time to vocalize her feedback. After a few of these, I found that her feedback was very positive. Almost matching what I said. Almost exactly. Like, to the point of her really just saying, “Me too.”
Now, I’m cynical and bitter, so I find it hard to believe that there is such a fabulous (I’m taking it back!) connection between the two of us. So I mixed it up a bit. Rather than opening with a statement, I would ask a question. Questioning a girl about herself is a pretty good tool. It shows that you’re interested in what she has to say and what she thinks. So let me give you a shining example…
Stuck: It’s a shame you had to work late tonight. We could’ve grabbed some dinner beforehand.
Girl: Yeah.
Stuck: What’s your favorite restaurant around here?
Girl: What’s yours?
Stuck: I’m a big fan of steak, so probably Longhorn.
Girl: Me too.
Stuck: I wish they had an Outback downtown, though. I like them better than Longhorn.
Girl: Yeah, me too.
Any opinion of hers that I asked was answered immediately by “What’s yours?” or “What do you think?” and then was followed by an agreement with whatever I said.
At the end of the night, I walked her to her car and told her I had fun. (And I did, but it was not through any actions on her part.) Before I could say anything else, she said “Me too. I’ve already got plans for next weekend, but call me and we’ll get something going for the weekend after.”
*shrug* I’ll call her Friday or Saturday and see how that phone call goes before I pass any further judgement. But for now, for a brief moment, I’m going to think like a girl, and over-analyze the situation.
First, the conversation was crap. It actually makes me wonder if people think this way about me when I’m not talking. I know for a fact that my lack of conversation has harmed at least one relationship. (Which is ironic, because I also harmed it by saying too much. Stuck just can’t win.) I’m going to dismiss that idea, though, because I’m pretty sure I’ve never gotten someone else’s opinion before giving my own. So why did she do it? Was she afraid to offend me? Does she just have no opinions about anything? Does she want to appear stupid so that her superior intellect won’t intimidate me? (This is far more common than you ladies let on.)
Second, I didn’t say anything about wanting to see her again. I’m pretty sure, had she not interrupted me, I would’ve followed it up by telling her that we didn’t really seem to click. (As much as I hate saying that on a first date, I find it best , and less expensive, to be honest right away.) She assumed that I was going to say I wanted to see her again, though. So did she think we clicked? Was this some Chemistry that I’m not aware of, where only one ingredient reacts?
Third, she mentioned she had plans. Is she giving the polite brush-off by making herself unavailable? It’d be far easier to say she wasnt interested over the phone, right? Assuming she even answers the call.
There, I’m done channeling my inner over-analytical chick. None of it matters, really, because I’ve decided I’m not interested. I’ll give her a second chance to knock me off my feet, because maybe she was off her game, but I’m not going to hope. Hope is a very dangerous emotion for bitter and cynical people. (Even fabulous ones.)
Also, I’m not getting naked tomorrow. I think revealing that I have an inner over-analytical chick somewhere in my brain is naked enough for this week.
*You already have a free subscription. You don’t actually win anything. I’m a jerk for teasing you.

10 thoughts on “Do You Have Another Opinion?”

  1. You love my highlighter-dorkiness.

    And if my date looked as good as the woman from Coming to America, I might (and this is a BIG MIGHT) be able to overlook the fact that she is a hollow shell of a person for a few hours… a few hot, sweaty hours…

  2. CapricornCringe

    You’re so bitter, Stuck. Lighten up a little, will you? 😉

    Personally, I think she kind of blew you off and not in that fun way (unless there’s something you’re not telling). She probably thought YOU were boring. Which just means she is silly and shallow and not worth a call-back.

  3. This makes me chuckle alittle because you are such a girl! I can tease you for being a ‘girly man’ with your chick thoughts but you dont know me that well yet. All I can say is: yay – us gals are not alone in our over thinking!
    So my opinion is that she is:
    1) blowing you off like capricorncringe said. I mean, did she even ask you questions about yourself? Did she try to get to know you?
    2) she was nervous
    #2 has happend to shy ol’me too many a time. When meeting new ppl I am not much of a talker. In fact I can blend into the walls. But depending on chemistry and how relaxed I am in a situation – and if I am around ppl I know well – sometimes you can’t shut me up. If a guy makes me nervous – I clam up. And if he makes me nervous it is either due to his extrovert personality or I am attracted to him. When that happens I always think afterward that he really never got to know me – because I wasnt myself in the first place due to my nervousness. So, though she is busy this weekend, she at least offered the next. (unless it is one of those empty polite offers that only non-honest passive ppl make – and there are quite a few of those out there)

    Too bad it didnt seem to work out. But dating is fun, even the not so good experiences. Hopefully both of you can contact eachother by phone and resolve this either way.

  4. Wait, you were at a concert on a date? Bad date idea. At least not the first date… that’s no way to get to know anybody. Correct me if I’m wrong because my brain is fried, but I think that’s where you said you were.
    The only concert dates I could possibly enjoy are the ones where we both get blitzed, hook up, then I never see him again. Victory.

  5. Cap – I’m totally bitter, and I embrace that about myself. As for me being boring… well, I am. I paint little figurines as a hobby. Life doesn’t get any less exciting than that. 😉

    Moi – (Moi? Am I addressing myself? That’s kind of wierd.) No, you are NOT allowed to tease me. The price you pay for getting insight into my brain is that you aren’t allowed to mock. :p If you choose to disobey this rule, then I will tease you for feeling bad about not hitting on a married man…

    MJ – Yes, it was a concert, but it was blues, so it wasn’t too loud. The concert was actually her idea, because I told her I already had plans to go see it, and she said she’d just tag along for that. *shrug*

    No one guessed where my Pixies lyric came from. Am I the only Pixies fan left in the world?

  6. Sounds like at best, she was merely shy. At worst, a boring person.

    At least you didn’t say you’d call, and then didn’t call. Lots of boys do that.

    Your story made me chuckle, and think of that scene in Coming to America:

    Q: What do you like to do for fun?

    A: Whatever you like.

    Q: Do you have a favorite food?

    A: Yes! Whatever food you like…

  7. ok no mocking, though I think teasing is a more gentle word – but Ima zip it…
    and maybe he isnt married !? :p

  8. Dude, that date sounded painful. No need to over-analyze, as that just gives voice to insecurity. The girl was either boring, shy, or not interested, and none of the three should give her a shot at another date. I probably would have handled it by teasing her a bit to try and loosen things up. Or asking her to dance. Or greasing the wheels with some alcohol. Or showing her my cool hand-puppet trick. 🙂

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