The Spark Theory

It has been a busy, busy life lately. I’ve been at my new job for two and a half weeks now, and I already have sixteen hours of Comp Time built up. This includes deductions I’ve made to that bank by leaving early on a few days. I’m not complaining, though. I’d much rather stay busy than be bored, and I’m actually having fun at work. Besides, here at The Box, the billing department is FULL of hotties. The biggest downside to being so busy is that I’ve got a mailbox full of unread emails to wade through. I hate not replying to mails in a timely fashion. It gives the impression that you’re ignoring someone. So to everyone waiting on an email response from me… I’m not ignoring you. Just hang tight until I get some free time. (Free time that isn’t used to write a stupid blog entry!)
First, I’ll say that I’ve come up with a mix of Jackass and Nice Guy that I’ll probably try out this weekend. I’ve already started doing it at work, and it’s gotten more smiles than I expected. (Not that I’d date a co-worker.) The bad news is that I didn’t come up with this mix fast enough, and was still in Nice Guy mode when I asked a friend out on an “official date.” The shoot-down is much, much worse when it comes from a friend because you’re immediately worried that your friendship has been lessened and will suffer now. I think that will prove true in this case too, and I’m saddened by the thought of losing a friend like her.
This shootdown caused a sudden evaluation of my theory on successful relationships. I’ve always believed that people should be friends before they date, because it’s a more natural progression for relationship. When you see couple that have been married for 20+ years, they don’t hesitate to tell you that their spouse is their best friend, so why wouldn’t you want to look within your existing friends for the hidden potential of a relationship? Because of The Spark.
The Spark Theory is one subscribed to by most females and hopeless romantics. (Is that a redundant statement?) They believe that there is this magical chemistry between two people, and that when these two people come together it creates a Spark. Not a literal spark, mind you. That would be a serious threat to some fire codes. They believe that there is some mystical connection between these two people that makes them click. Despite the large acceptance of this theory, I’ve never had this happen. Or maybe I’ve had it so often that I don’t think it’s anything special. Maybe that Spark is what I call Friendship. Because that’s what happens when you click with someone, right? You can finish their sentences, read their mind, sit together in comfortable silence…
I think this hypothesis, which I’m going to dub The Stuckey Theory, holds more water than this Spark rubbish. Why, then, have I been so unsuccessful in convincing women, who are friends, to advance the friendship? It’s a little embarassing to say, but out of six attempts, only one agreed. The five shootdowns all shared one common word: “creepy.” Ladies, please listen to this even if you completely disagree with the Stuckey Theory and and a whole-hearted Spark zealot. Never, ever, tell a guy that the thought of dating him is “creepy” if you care about his feelings at all.
And so, Nice Ass (what a wonderful name combination of Jackass and Nice Guy, don’t you agree?) is born and ready for his test-run. This weekend looks to be too busy to do any serious prowling, so don’t expect an update until the next weekend.

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